🔥 A Reckoning Non-Advice Letter 💌
✨ Some plants thrive on attention. Others wilt from too much. This letter asks: Are your good intentions watering… or overwhelming? 🪴
✨ Sometimes we mean well—but don’t hear the soft “no,” until we’re too far down our own rabbit hole to notice. 🐇
✨ Overwatering feels generous—until it’s not. There’s a line between devotion and damage. 💔
✨ But when it comes to people we love, we can always do better. There’s always hope. 🌈
💌 Dear Miss Reckoning,
I’m stuck in the middle between my mom and my sister.
My sister threw our mom a 70th birthday party… even though she knew our mom didn’t want one. She keeps saying she had good intentions. But our mom won’t forgive her.
I don’t know if I can pick a side.
What do I do?
-In the Middle
🪞 Dear In the Middle,
Let’s start by acknowledging the elephant in the room 🐘: family can be rough.
We love them ❤️. But they know us almost too well—
how to push our buttons, how to hit us right where it hurts 💥,
and how to mistake loyalty for permission.
Family assumes our love for them is limitless, which often means boundary-less. 🚧
And the other side of your letter? Let’s call it what it is:
🎯 Sometimes good intentions can suck. 😬
Intent doesn’t erase impact.
Intent doesn’t cancel consequences.
Intent doesn’t override autonomy.
(Yeah—I wish it did, too. It’d make therapy go a lot faster. 🧠💬)
It took me nearly 40 years to learn this lesson. I still struggle with the “Yeah, but…” voice in my brain.
🤷 “Yeah, but I meant well.”
🤦“Yeah, but I was trying to help.”
Nope. Sorry, brain. 🚫 You can lead with love 💞 and admit you caused harm.
🔄 Let’s rewind: How can a birthday party be a bad thing?
Because Mom said no. 🙅 And that matters.
Good intentions are like overwatering a plant 🌱. You know the plant needs water 💦. But you completely obliterate your capacity to tell how much… so you drown the plant. 😵
Calling it dead feels too harsh. I’ll say it’s not alive.
You’ve not-alived the plant. 🪦
I’m going to admit something to you. It took me years to figure it out.
For most of my life, I didn’t realize I had control issues 😮💨.
Other than sipping the tea 🍵 and
always wanting to know other people’s business 🕵️♀️,
I don’t actually like to be in the business.
I don’t want to be in the drama.
I want to watch the drama 👀.
But that must be a lie I tell myself 🤔.
At the root, I have a huge problem with control.
I want to control everything because I know best! 🧠✨
I want to fix everyone. Because they need me! 😇
Unfortunately, good intentions can sometimes be
our attempt to control other people. 🧲
Oof. I know it’s rough to think about it that way.
That one cost me a few therapy sessions and
a lot of uncomfortable mirror stares. 🪞
Anway, back to the plant. 🪴
❌ Overwatering isn’t neglect.
🔍 It’s devotion without perspective.
♾️ Devotion without limits.
🔒 Devotion without boundaries.
Now we strip off the gardening gloves 🧤 and dig out of the metaphor. 🧑🌾
Because good intentions?
☀️ They’re warm.
💛 Generous.
🎀 Innocent on the surface.
🌊 But they can drown autonomy, blur accountability, and leave behind emotional damage that will need more than a band-aid. 🩹
Oof. I know. That one hits hard.
You’re probably wondering: “Where’s the usual sass, Miss Reckoning?” 😏
Hold tight—I’m bringing it back with a parenting fumble.
Because I’m going to dwell about it in my head anyway—
might as well tell you 🗯️.
My eight-year-old is going to summer camp 🏕️. She’s excited. 🎉
They planned a field trip to the beach 🏖️.
She’s in swimming lessons 🏊♀️ and thinks she’s super good 💪.
But she’s not. Don’t tell her I said that. 🙈
*Cue my panic*
I spiraled. 🌀
I overwatered her with safety warnings.
I ruined the morning with anxiety disguised as advice.
She felt misunderstood 😔.
I felt like the worst-case scenarios in my head were definitely going to happen. 🔮
Both of us walked away with rolled eyes 🙄 and bad attitudes. 😒
And then—I found out:
🚩 Lifeguards were hired.
🚩 Kids couldn’t go past a certain point unless they pass swim tests.
🚩 There was never a real threat.
I panicked over a made-up scenario in my head. ⚠️
And she wore the weight of my fear wrapped in love.
She wore the weight of my good intentions. 💔
So, here’s our collective reckoning ✨.
💧 What are we overwatering right now?
Is it someone’s feelings?
A conversation?
Your own expectations?
I can’t tell you whose side to take, but I’m working on focusing on only what’s in my control. Today, that’s letting go of control.
💗 Be gentle.
🚸 Proceed with caution.
🫶 Start with care—but end with perspective.
Because good intentions are only good…
if you know when to stop pouring. 💧⛅
Scorched, signed, sent,
🔥🖊️💌
-Miss Reckoning
As always, your unqualified, non-professional, non-advice friend
Note from Miss:
I’ve sought a lot of professional help, and I’ve found it beneficial in my own recovery. Please always seek what you need from professional avenues.
But know, you’re never alone here.
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This post is for emotional reflection and storytelling purposes only. It is not professional advice.
[See full disclaimers here]
Dear Miss Reckoning, 