🔥 A Reckoning Non-Advice Letter 💌

✨ Some plants thrive on attention. Others wilt from too much. This letter asks: Are your good intentions watering… or overwhelming? 🪴

✨ Sometimes we mean well—but don’t hear the soft “no,” until we’re too far down our own rabbit hole to notice. 🐇

✨ Overwatering feels generous—until it’s not. There’s a line between devotion and damage. 💔

✨ But when it comes to people we love, we can always do better. There’s always hope. 🌈

---

💌 Dear Miss Reckoning,

I’m stuck in the middle between my mom and my sister.

My sister threw our mom a 70^th birthday party… even though she knew our mom didn’t want one. She keeps saying she had good intentions. But our mom won’t forgive her.

I don’t know if I can pick a side.

What do I do?

-In the Middle

---

🪞 Dear In the Middle,

Let’s start by acknowledging the elephant in the room 🐘: family can be rough.

We love them ❤️. But they know us almost too well—
how to push our buttons, how to hit us right where it hurts 💥,
and how to mistake loyalty for permission.

Family assumes our love for them is limitless, which often means boundary-less. 🚧

And the other side of your letter? Let’s call it what it is:

🎯 Sometimes good intentions can suck. 😬

Intent doesn’t erase impact.
Intent doesn’t cancel consequences.
Intent doesn’t override autonomy.
(Yeah—I wish it did, too. It’d make therapy go a lot faster. 🧠💬)

It took me nearly 40 years to learn this lesson. I still struggle with the “Yeah, but…” voice in my brain.
🤷 “Yeah, but I meant well.”
🤦“Yeah, but I was trying to help.”

Nope. Sorry, brain. 🚫 You can lead with love 💞 and admit you caused harm.

🔄 Let’s rewind: How can a birthday party be a bad thing?

Because Mom said no. 🙅 And that matters.

Good intentions are like overwatering a plant 🌱. You know the plant needs water 💦. But you completely obliterate your capacity to tell how much… so you drown the plant. 😵

Calling it dead feels too harsh. I’ll say it’s not alive.

You’ve not-alived the plant. 🪦

I’m going to admit something to you. It took me years to figure it out.
For most of my life, I didn’t realize I had control issues 😮‍💨.

Other than sipping the tea 🍵 and
always wanting to know other people’s business 🕵️‍♀️,
I don’t actually like to be in the business.
I don’t want to be in the drama.
I want to watch the drama 👀.

But that must be a lie I tell myself 🤔.
At the root, I have a huge problem with control.

I want to control everything because I know best! 🧠✨
I want to fix everyone. Because they need me! 😇

Unfortunately, good intentions can sometimes be
our attempt to control other people. 🧲

Oof. I know it’s rough to think about it that way.

That one cost me a few therapy sessions and
a lot of uncomfortable mirror stares. 🪞

Anway, back to the plant. 🪴
❌ Overwatering isn’t neglect.
🔍 It’s devotion without perspective.
♾️ Devotion without limits.
🔒 Devotion without boundaries.

Now we strip off the gardening gloves 🧤 and dig out of the metaphor. 🧑‍🌾

Because good intentions?
☀️ They’re warm.
💛 Generous.
🎀 Innocent on the surface.

🌊 But they can drown autonomy, blur accountability, and leave behind emotional damage that will need more than a band-aid. 🩹

Oof. I know. That one hits hard.

You’re probably wondering: “Where’s the usual sass, Miss Reckoning?” 😏

Hold tight—I’m bringing it back with a parenting fumble.
Because I’m going to dwell about it in my head anyway—
might as well tell you 🗯️.

My eight-year-old is going to summer camp 🏕️. She’s excited. 🎉
They planned a field trip to the beach 🏖️.
She’s in swimming lessons 🏊‍♀️ and thinks she’s super good 💪.
But she’s not. Don’t tell her I said that. 🙈

*Cue my panic*

I spiraled. 🌀
I overwatered her with safety warnings.
I ruined the morning with anxiety disguised as advice.

She felt misunderstood 😔.
I felt like the worst-case scenarios in my head were definitely going to happen. 🔮
Both of us walked away with rolled eyes 🙄 and bad attitudes. 😒

And then—I found out:
🚩 Lifeguards were hired.
🚩 Kids couldn’t go past a certain point unless they pass swim tests.
🚩 There was never a real threat.

I panicked over a made-up scenario in my head. ⚠️
And she wore the weight of my fear wrapped in love.
She wore the weight of my good intentions. 💔

So, here’s our collective reckoning ✨.

💧 What are we overwatering right now?

Is it someone’s feelings?
A conversation?
Your own expectations?

I can’t tell you whose side to take, but I’m working on focusing on only what’s in my control. Today, that’s letting go of control.

💗 Be gentle.
🚸 Proceed with caution.
🫶 Start with care—but end with perspective.

Because good intentions are only good…
if you know when to stop pouring. 💧⛅

Scorched, signed, sent,
🔥🖊️💌

As always, your unqualified, non-professional, non-advice friend

Note from Miss:
I’ve sought a lot of professional help, and I’ve found it beneficial in my own recovery. Please always seek what you need from professional avenues.

But know, you’re never alone here. 

This post is for emotional reflection and storytelling purposes only. It is not professional advice.

[See full disclaimers here]